Dog's Life
by Cave Hermit
Summary: What do you do when you find yourself in an unbelievable situation that you have no control over and lands you in the last place you wanted to be. With no escape, no way to communicate, and no idea how to deal with this what do you do? Go with the flow I guess.
1. How It Started

I consider myself a selfish person. I never use too, but those naive thoughts left my mind when I became an adult and started making my own choices and found out that I can be a real ass. Because of this karma has decided to devote a lot of its attention on my activities and deliver _harsh _punishment on me. At least that's what i would like to believe. I told a bartender this once, he called me a superstitious idiot so and I punched him in the face - seconds later I'm sitting in an alley after a bouncer hammers a tooth out of my face with his meaty fist.

Ya see? Karma... and me being an idiot. So I was a little drunk-but I had a legit reason! It was a real crap day so I think I deserved a few drinks after falling overboard with a decent chunk of beli's worth of Alabasta silk and getting an earful from the Captain. Yeah, that was a really _real _crap day and the other reason I'm in a certain complicated situation at the moment.

I'm going to dumb down the explanation of my slow spiral into this madness so I can cut straight to the meat of the story.

I had a mother who had a husband that went to sea a lot as a sailor, she rarely saw him and began to hate him for his absence. Me on the other hand, being the child I was, idolized him like a deity. one-day he never came back and when I turned into a teenager I wanted to join a crew and search for him, mom wouldn't have it. The fight was inevitable; it was long, it was violent, it got me kicked out of the house. Angry, I acted out of impulse I jumped on to the first ship that was looking for a crew.

The sailor's life was harder than I expected and not nearly as fun as thought, I learned that the hard way. Probably didn't help that I practically threw my self out-of-the-way to mouth off at my Captain at every turn. Earned a few laughs from the crew sure, but the Captain started to loath me. A few years later of work shipments with them, the silk incident was the last straw and I got tossed off ship at the next island.

Asshole Captain didn't even pay me for my services this year.

On a unknown island with little to no beli and homeless, I was at a loss at what to do.

After a week of self loathing and pity over my actions to my mother and employer I finally got over myself and tried to find a job but couldn't get one. No one would take me, the closest I could get were odd jobs every other day and that wasn't enough to actually get me anywhere.

But I had a plan, it was a small one but I found it brilliant none the less and I grew excited at the concepts after seeing a certain piece of equipment in the window of a pawn shop. If I could save enough money on the side I could buy it and start my own buisness; make a name for myself, earn my own cash, be my own boss!

So I shifted what little savings I kept for buying an apartment to fund my little dream. Sure, I had to live in an alley for a few more months but I had finally did it, and it was still in the pawn shop on sale!

I gathered all my savings, ready to begin with the foundations of my dream!

Then it all went south...

Two thugs, two _pirates _ran into my alley to hide. Possibly from their own crew for betrayal from what I gathered but that's not important. What's important is that they were panicking about the treasure they stole, that they would be skinned alive when they were found.

They had a Devil Fruit

They had seen me

They apparently came up with a brilliant plan to hide it, to shove it down my throat and quickly cut it out when they were in the clear with their mates. Thinking they had time before the fruit was lost and would change me forever.

They were wrong, the result was instant.

I felt like my innards were on fire, it hurt so much that I barely noticed their crew showed up and the two quickly blamed the theft of the fruit on me. The Captain walked up to my withering, pain filled form with thoughts of murder burning in his eyes.

"You think you can steal from me," he gripped my throat with one meaty hand, lifting his blade to meet my throat. "Where is my fruit, where is my key to power you pathetic whelp!?"

The pain slowly disintegrated and strength surged into my limbs. I stood taller, felt my arms ripple with muscle and my teeth grow sharp as I growled at the lice infested Captain and his crew. This power felt amazing as I continued to change before their very eyes.

The mans eyes widened, "You ate it." What surprise he had at this development vanished in his rage, "You took my chance to become great, I'll kill you!"

The were was a yell from back, a shot was been fired.

The Marines had arrived.

And all hell broke loose.

A volley of lead cascaded into the alley. The Captains hand slipped as a bullet dug into his shoulder, the blade slicing into my skin as I bled freely from the wound.

My world went black.

I woke up, possibly days later, with stitches in my throat, unable to talk, change back to normal, and on a pirate ship in the middle of nowhere on the open ocean.

What have I done this time karma?

* * *

"Where did you find him," A certain curly eyebrowed man asked as he continued to skillfully chop away at the carrots in front of him before moving toward the potatoes, "and why was his throat cut open?"

"I don't know Sanji, me and Robin found him like that when we left the book store." The little reindeer, Chopper, answered as he glanced at the chef practically wailing, "There was this big fight these guys had with the Marines and when it cleared we saw him laying there, we couldn't just leave him!"

Sanji glanced up from the counter away from his cutting board, "You know he can't stay here, I don't wanna be mean or anything but I would feel more comfortable if we dropped him off at the next island we reach."

Chopper grew panicked, "But we can't just drop him off, he still needs someone to keep an eye on him! What if he starts bleeding with no one to help him!?"

"Garrrmoarrra-rrrrrr-rrrrr!"

"DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL YOU SHIT HEAD!" Sangi screeched as he slammed his foot in the back of their Captains skull. "Honestly, how many times do I have'ta tell ya! You'll spray spit over Nami-Swans and Robin-Chwans food!"

Luffy, even though he slammed head first into the oak table, sprung back up unaffected, food now shoved down his gullet from the blow, "I say we keep him!"

Robin gave a chuckle at the rubber mans antics while Nami only shook her head in exasperation, "Why, Luffy? What possible reason would we keep him here with us?"

Luffy opened his mouth to respond before it quickly closed again as he began to think...which soon lead to whining, " But Naaaaammmmiiiiiiiii!"

Lifting a delicate hand to her head to keep back a growing headache she decided to nip this in the bud before she got a migraine, "Okay Luffy, if you can think of one good reason to keep him with us I'll consider it."

Luffy, and unsurprisingly Chopper, cheered in unison as they hugged and luffy began springing around the room with Chopper in his clutches.

"It's gotta be a good reason so don't get excited!" Nami yelled as she tried to bring order to the table. "He can stay till he's better but afterwords, if you can't give me a _good_ reason, he's off at the next island!"

Chopper leaned towards Luffy's ear, "Chopper, you can't help him!"

Ussop gave a glance to the open door to the deck as he continued to munch away at his meal, "I don't know, it would be a lot of responsibility to watch him, even if it's until he gets better." He continued to stare outside which gained the attention of the others occupying the table.

Outside, sitting on the deck in the evening sun, was a little wiener dog covered in brown and white spotted fur with stitching surrounding his throat staring at the residing crew members with confused and scared eyes.


	2. The Whole Crew

I'm a dog, the damn Devil Fruit turned me into a dog.

Not one of those big, tough, intimidating, vicious looking dogs either. No, I turned into one of the GOOFIEST LOOKING FUCKING DOGS I'VE EVER _SEEN_!

I mean come on, really!? I had to go over the misfortune of being forced to eat the fruit but I'm given the weirdest looking animal ever? You'd think I could catch a break.

long nose, long body, _tiny_ legs, and big floppy ears are an awful combination for a dog; I look ridiculous.

Not only that but I've been mistaken as a dog-_shocker!_- and been taken in by a different group of pirates. At least it's not the same group as before and for that I'm grateful; hope those ingrates are next for the executioners block if they haven't gone already.

On top of that, the blue-nosed bear looking thing saved my life from bleeding out with his medical skills, because he already wasn't odd enough the bear apparently needed to be a doctor.

Sitting silently outside their door I continued to listen in on their little conversation about me.

"We should have someone with him at all times so he doesn't rip his stitches again like this morning," Chopper said seriously.

Ussop cringed at the memory, "Yeah, that wasn't pretty at all."

Like I needed to be reminded about panicking while trying to change back; it was a traumatizing experience in itself. Confusion, panic, and being mute weren't ideal factors to wake up to. I doubt I need to explain anyfurther.

Nami rose an eyebrow at this new piece of info, "How'd he manage that?"

Chopper just shook his head, "I don't know, I was out of the room for a second and suddenly I hear him heaving and whining." The bear glanced outside at me for what felt like the hundredth time, "I wish I could speak to him but he can hardy make a sound. I don't even think he'll be able to bark again." He said sadly.

The slight pity in his tone annoyed me but it's not like I could say anything about it. Lowering down to my belly, I laid down and continued to listen in on their conversation.

"GAAAAARGGgg-cchoooo!"

My ears twitched at the sudden noise and I threw my paws over my head at the now ongoing music of drowning trumpets that began to orchestrate on the deck. What in the name of all that is holy is that damn noise!?

"Our little guest doesn't seem to like Swordsman-sans snoring," I heard the woman, Robin, laugh.

That was a person!? Glancing behind me to the mast I caught sight of the man who the sounds originated from. The man sat, arms crossed and swords sitting in his lap, as he let his head hang lazily to the side with drool flowing from his lip.

"SHUT IT MOSS HEAD, SOME OF US LIKE TO THINK, UNLIKE YOU!" Sanji roared out, not helping my sensitive ears at all. As if there wasn't enough torture, the swordsman seemed to snore louder in defiance as he continued to snooze.

My god, make it stop!

Noticing my pain, Nami decided to take pity on me, "Come here boy, I'm getting tired of hearing that moron." She called to me with a whistle and that's all the incentive I needed.

Quickly springing to my feet, I clumsily sprinted through the door on my cartoonishly tiny legs as the long-nosed pirate shut the door. The man was still audible through the oak walls but was muffled to a bearable volume thanks to the door.

I took a seat by the table but stiffened when a hand planted itself on my furry head, "At least me and Sanji aren't the only ones that despise zoro's snoring." Nami said to me playfully.

I looked up at her and we stared for a few seconds as i blinked in confusion as her hand continued to rub my head. She kept a stoic face for the longest time but her lips twitched as a smile wormed its way on her face, "Your such a silly looking dog, you know that?"

Like I needed to be reminded. I tried to look annoyed but that seemed to spur her smile into laughter at my continuingly goofy look. I'm not gunna be taken seriously ever am I?

Another pair a hands made contact with me and i couldn't help but squirm at the uncomfortable feeling as they picked me up, "He's really fidgety isn't he?" Ussop commented as he brought me to eye level.

"He's probably not used to being picked up and touched so much," Robin commented as she and the rest of them watched us. Not counting the straw hatted kid that began to stuff his face on the food that Sanji cut while he wasn't looking.

Luffy's advantage didn't last long though, "GET AWAY FROM THOSE YOU RUBBER IDIOT!"

The boy just laughed and leapt away from the chefs dropkick as I was continued to be studied by the Ussop.

He gave me a quick sniff before his face scrunched up in disgust as he held me further away, "Ugh, he smells like rotten garbage!" Of course you would notice with your sniffer, buddy.

"Hey, look at your noses! you could be brothers!" Luffy laughed merrily as he finally took a hit from the blonde headed embodiment of rage but continued to laugh anyway.

Ussop didn't take that very well, "Oi! You dare insult the King of Snipe-HEY, don't touch my food!" I was quickly placed on the table as the two crew members began to wrestle the boy to the ground.

I just stared at the spectacle as the two girls and bear began to speak again as if mutiny wasn't being committed right this second. These are the weirdest people I have ever seen. If this ever happened in my old crew the captain would've had our heads.

Who is the Captain anyway?

"We should probably decide who watches him first," Nami said as she took a sip from her orange beverage.

So were just gunna continue ignoring this fight?

"I believe Doctor-san should watch him just in case he rips his stitches again."

I guess we are.

"He needs a bath _real_ bad," Chopper lifted a hoof to his nose. "I don't think my nose can take it anymore!"

I'm sitting right here ya'know.

"Can you give him a bath, Chopper," Nami asked.

I'm not gunna let you touch me if you even try.

Chopper shook his head violently, "I might pass out if I try to muscle through it again!"

Nami just sighed at that, "Then it's either me or you, Robin. I don't trust these idiots with being gentle with him."

I'm a grown-ass man, I don't need someone washing me!

They both looked at me with less than pleased expressions at the thought. well, Nami did, I don't even know what was going through the others head with her blank face.

The next few seconds would decide my fate and it was settled with the almighty choice maker.

Rock-Paper-Scissors.

"I guess it's just me and you."

god help me

* * *

_This Fiction will consist of shorts ranging from 1,500 to 3,000 every chapter till I decide to place one of the larger story events so it will be a little slow at the start. For now just enjoy some fluffy, smile-forming moments._

_-Cave Hermit_


	3. Baths Suck

"Alright, lets get this over with," Nami grumbled as she held me over the ocean of sudsy, bubbling soap. _'Lets not and say we did!' _I tried to escape, squirming and whining up a storm, but her grip might as well been iron as she lowered me to my doom.

The ginger haired girl gave a grunt in annoyance, "Come on now. I don't like this anymore than you do, but you reek."

Kicking my tiny legs in panic, I reached for the tub's edges and held firm as I gripped them like my life depended on it. Which in this case it might as well, to me anyway.

"You aren't making it any easier on yourself," she growled, picking me up again and repositioning me so I didn't do it again. I wasn't about to let this advantage slip from my paws so easily so I twisted my long body and grabbed the edges again, she gave a growl at my effort.

This continued for another four attempts, only growing more frustrated at each failur to put me into the sudsy muck of a bath_. 'You might as well quit cuz Im nut gunna-'_

She suddenly let go of me leaving me to support myself to hold my weight with my skinny legs in a very uncomfortable way. They began to shake and I looked up pleadingly.

"I warned you didn't I," she teased, arms crossed and smiling, waiting for my predictable demise.

She didn't have to wait long. I plummeted into the water, sputtering as I arose again in a frenzied splash. A soaked rag was planted on my head as it began to scrub at my greasy hair. I gave a growl.

She gave an amused smirk, "I told ya, but you just had to make it difficult." I whined when she began to scrub harder, "Wow, you're just covered in grime. Have you been sleeping in trash for the last few weeks?"

_'No comment' _This was utterly embarrassing. Me, a grown ass man, was getting a bath from a girl who was more than likely a few years my comparison It was like an eight year-old giving a teenager a bath, to me at least, but no matter what this felt weird.

I gave another whine in protest as she worked on my back, "Quite your whining, if your gunna be on this ship you can't reek to high heaven." Who said I ever wanted to even _be _here? I'm grateful to the bear/deer thing for saving me, but I never wanted to jump aboard this pirate ship of full wackos.

I gave a growl as a question finally began to nag at me; what happened to all my money?! I had enough, I had all I needed to start with my simple little dream untill this was literally thrown at me from nowhere. I didn't even have a single choice in the matter, it just fell in my lap, or forced down my throat if I wanna be darkly specific about it.

First island we get to I'm jumping ship the second we get there. I would have to start all over, but I'll be damned if I can't do it again.

This is when the fiery red-head reached down to scrub a very _sensitive _place. To say I flipped out would be a understatement. "Hey, calm down! what's gotten into you!"

I squirmed and thrashed in a frenzy, ignoring Nami's angry cries for me to calm down. This is where I draw the line! No one touches my genitals except for me!

She yelled in a frantic panic, "Your going to rip your stitches you damn dog!" Grabbing me by the sides, I was lifted and held tightly to her chest as I continued to squirm, spraying soap and water across the room.

I felt the room spin as she yelped and slipped on the wet floor and fell over on her back to the ground, still clutching me as we both landed.

It took a second, but I was able to regain my balanced as I stood up on all for feet and felt the blood rush to my face when a looked up. Two certain mounds, only concealed by a wet shirt, met my gaze. I hope to god that my fur concealed my tinted cheeks because in between those two mounds was a _very _angry gaze.

A scared whine left my lips.

* * *

Nami was angry, I couldn't see her face but I felt it in her angry strides as she held my at her hip with one of her arms. The rest of the bath was less than stellar and she quickly finished scrubbing me. I let out an apologetic whine as I glanced up from her grasp, maybe if I looked sincerely sorry she wouldn't be as mad at me even though I really wasn't. You don't just grab someones junk and not expect for them to freak out, that was just a natural reaction.

She didn't look at me, Nami only gave an annoyed snort at my whining and continued to wherever we were going. I didn't know the layout of this ship but I knew we weren't returning to the kitchen where everyone else was. Nami walked up to a door and carried me along with her as she went through to a room filled with cargo and barrels before going to a latch in the floor.

Pulling it open, Nami revealed to me a very clean, well furnished room. There was a red couch at the far wall and a glass end-table sitting on a blue carpet in front of it along with a mini bar not to far away in the corner. To the side wall was a desk filled with papers and tools, for what I don't know, and a filled bookshelf sitting next to it. Next to that bookshelf was a closed door.

She set me down on the floor, a bit roughly but that's to be expected, and walked to the other door, "Be a good boy and stay there." She turned around swiftly , giving a warning glare, "And stay off the furniture."

She shut the door behind her and left me to my own devices. I felt annoyance at her actions, not fifteen minutes ago she was told I shouldn't be left alone because I could rip my stitches. Hell, I'm not _going_ to because I'm not some stupid mutt, but she doesn't know that!

I heard a shuffle of fabric behind the door. She's probably changing after I soaked her, wearing soaked clothing on a sailing ship was just asking to get an illness. Or she just didn't want to wear a wet shirt in front of her male crew mates, I was leaning more toward that one. Thankfully I felt no sexual attraction to her since she was young or things would be more problematic.

I heard the latch open behind me, "There you are, I was curious of where Navigator-san took you."

_Her_ on the other hand would pose more of a problem. Robin walked down the steps smiling, as I glanced up at her with my goofy face. Robin was older, a little older than me I would guess, and she just so happened to be very attractive. I will need to be careful around her or else my "attraction" might just so happened to reveal itself.

Why did this have to happen to me?

"Navigator-san, are you here," she called out lightly. I felt a blush rocket into my face as Nami walked back in, shirt still over her head, as she finished dressing. This was gong to be even harder than I thought if this keeps happening.

"Yeah, I just needed to redress because our little guest here," she pointed down accusingly at me, "Decided to make me take a bath with him." Robin looked looked down at me again, small smile still planted on her face, as she gave a chuckle. I lowered my head in embarrassment, whining softly as a sort of apology.

Nami just sighed and shook her head at me, " Anyway, why were you looking for me?" After she asked this a smell finally hit my nose, a smell that made my stomach rumble and mouth drool. What was that amazing aroma filling my nostrils!?

"Doctor-san wanted to make sure that our new pet was fed so he had Cook-san make something for him," she said, lowering a plate to the floor filled with shreds of beef.

hol-ly-shit

I needed no more incentive before I pounced on the beautiful sight in front of me, chomping down ravenously on the meaty morsels. I heard them continue talking but that was background noise more than anything. Besides, this was _way_ more important at the moment.

"Wow he was hungry, he was on it faster than Luffy at a buffet," she turned to Robin, "And he is _not _our pet."

Robin's smile remained, "Captain-san and Doctor-san seem to think so. They both seem hard pressed on the idea."

There was even bits of vegetables mixed in with this meal that continued to compliment the meat, _yeeeees_!

Nami groaned at that, "We can't keep Luffy out of trouble, keep pirates and Marines at bay, _and _take care of a dog with special needs at the same time!"

"You'll never know until you try," Robin laughed, enjoying Namis reaction as she rubbed her eyes tiredly before plopping onto the couch. I felt both there eyes on me but ignored them as I continued to dig into this meaty goodness.

"You couldn't have gotten him something else to use besides our plate? That seems a little gross if one of us end up using it," Robin didn't give an answer to that.

Nami huffed, "Well can you tell me why it looks like the steak he was given looks shredded to goo?"

"Doctor-san didn't want to strain his throat with hard foods, so he had Cook-san cut it up," She answered. "It really tore him up inside to have to rip apart the meal he made."

I licked my chops as the last of the meat disapeared down my gullet and began licking the plate clean. Then I did something I thought I would never do in my right mind. Walking up to Robin, I lightly pawed at her leg and whined, tail wagging crazily on its own. She pick me up and held me at eye level with a soft smile, "Did you enjoy your meal?"

I felt my heart stop as I leaned forward and gave her cheek a soft lick. She chuckled at my affection.

I didn't even think when I did this, it just happened as I did it on impulse.

Like I was a real dog...


End file.
